A New Day

I know it has been awhile since I posted and I am disappointed in myself for that. The usual culprit (aka school, work, clients) are still consuming most of my days and nights. However, this past week I had the opportunity for a first in my life and the lives of many with me. The Highland elders read a statement two Sunday's ago about women's role in the church, their conclusions after 10 years of study, and how that was going to be fleshed out in the Highland community. It was very well written. You can read it on Mike Cope's blog. Therefore, this past Sunday was the first time for women to serve the Lord's Supper. I told Mike that I wanted to serve my church in this manner. I have been longing for years to be acknowledged and used within the body. Therefore, I wanted to support the elders in this decision. We arrived a few minutes early in order to express interest and I was assigned a row. I was so excited...this is more than just managing trays from my perspective. It is communing with the body, connecting with people through a smile, pat on the arm, or just eye contact. However, this was more difficult than I thought for several different reasons.

As I was about to pass the offering tray a woman who was sitting in the farthest corner of the church, looked up at me and asked, "Will there be men serving this morning?"

I answered, "I believe so, maam."

She replied, "I only accept communion from men."

Therefore, when we went to pass the bread and the juice I switched places with another man. As I passed the trays people kept their eyes down and frowns on their faces. At first I wondered if it was because I was serving them or if this is what men experience every week. After asking around, this is what men experience every week. To me this is such a shame...communion is just that ... time to COMMUNE together. When Jesus was on earth, it was festive meal and continued to be well after his death. However, we have created it to be so individualistic and solemn. It just seems so contrary to the intentions that God created it for.

Needless to say, this was a special blessing. I am excited to serve my church family in this capacity. I hope that through my service and the service of other women we can embrace as family as we commune together in many respects.

Another hurricane and other random thoughts

It has been awhile since my last post. Ironically, it the last time I posted Hurricane Charley was the center of my attention and today Hurricane Francis has my full attention. We are not in Florida to experience this hurricane, but our family is. I can't imagine worse destruction but that is what they are predicting. As we talked to Mike's parents two days ago, already the lines at Lowe's and Home Depot were 6-7 hours long. Water was long gone from the grocery store and the gas tanks were bone dry at filling stations. Please join us as we pray urgently for the people in Florida as they face this upcoming hurricane. Pray for safety, resilience, and courage to face the next weeks and months.

On another front, my life has felt similar to a hurricane these past few weeks as I figure out how to manage work, school, clients, and time with my husband. So far a typical weekday entails leaving my house at 8am for school, work, and clients and dragging in again about 10pm that evening. I love everything that I am getting to do right now so it is not near as miserable as it could be. I was afraid that my relationship with God might struggle more this year, but so far it has been much easier to rely on him because I know I cannot accomplish all of this on my own.

He is amazing in the strength he provides. Several sessions with clients this week have been totally God led. It blows me away when I come away from a session thinking, "Where did those words come from?" All I know is that God responds to people in distress and uses the voice of his children to call them back into relationship with him. The amazing thing is that this isn't done by shoving it down their throats that they need to go to church, but by showing them love and compassion when they are hurting. This is what keeps me going everyday - hoping that God will use me to transform lives.

I long to be in full-time ministry again. I know that therapy is ministry to hurting people but it frustrates me that relationships outside of the therapy setting is prohibited. There is so much that happens as you walk beside someone through a difficult time in life - being able to call or go to lunch, anything that builds friendships. I only pray that God will bless Mike and I the opportunity to be in ministry together in the near future.

Aftermath

Well, we made it through and it has been quite an interesting few days. The devastation is incredible...but yet we haven't felt it as most have. The Darling's house was one of the very few in Orlandot that did not lose power (thanks to underground power lines). Many, Many people are without electricity and water and will most likely be without it for at least a week or more. As we drove through town yesterday and saw lines at the gas stations three blocks long and trees dividing houses in half I was blown away at what so many people are experiencing.

Needless to say, it isn't exactly the vacation we planned but at least we are safe with family. More to come later....if you want to check out our personal pictures of the devastation here is the link to those.

http://photobucket.com/albums/v214/darlingmc/2004%20Photos/Hurricane%20Charley/

Lord, please continue to make your hand evident for the families who are experiencing so much devastation.

HURRICANES!!!!!

Mike and I have had quite a long day and it looks as though it will only get longer. We caught an EARLY flight to Orlando this morning from Dallas. I am talking like we have been up since 3:45am. We arrived safely about 10:30am after much concern from those who knew we were traveling into Hurricane country. My response was, "No one mentioned to us back in May when we bought our tickets that there was going to be a Hurricane on the 13th of August and we shouldn't travel." Anyway, after arriving we went to lunch with Mike's family we made a quick stop at Wal-Mart (along with half of Florida) to pick up a set of Domino's and then on to the Grocery store (where the other half of Florida was). We are now planted in front of the TV with one eye on the sky waiting for this dreaded storm. We have stocked up on food and games to last us several days just in case we lose power and such. So far it has been pretty exciting. Growing up in Oklahoma we only experienced tornados and you didn't get much warning with those. It's looking like the hurricane is coming ashore in an unexpected areas, so pray for those who are unprepared and in the path of this storm. While it is not quite the vacation we expected, we are looking forward to enjoying some family game time and just being together.

Lord, please protect those who are in the path of this storm. Please give wisdom to those who are in danger to make wise decisions and keep their safety the first priority. Lord, protect and provide for those who suffer loss as a result of this hurricane.

Busy Week

The last week in July will always be a big week in our family.  On Monday, the 26th, Mike and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary.  To celebrate we spent the weekend in Austin, TX (Mike blogged about it if you want details).  When we got home Sunday night we headed straight to the hospital to meet some of our close friend's new daughter that was born over the weekend.  She is beautiful and just holding her gave me the baby bug!  Monday life returned to the normal hustle and bustle, but we still tried to have a nice dinner and celebrate the actual day we got married. 

Last night we said good-bye to a dear professor that was laid off in the ACU budget cuts.  It was very difficult to see their family go through this transistion and for them to not be apart of the MFT program anymore.  It is difficult for us to understand the plan God has for them when it seems so unfair that they have to uproot their family and move. 

Today(29th) is Mike's 24th Birthday. For months I have been planning about his gift.  He has been drooling over IPOD's since Christmas.  Everytime I would get a little cash, I holed it away to go towards this present.  Then I asked both parents to go in with me towards this gift.  I am not sure who was more excited when he opened it this morning.  Later this morning, he said he thinks he is in shock because it was totally unexpected.  Needless to say he was thrilled. 

I have said this before, but I am so thankful for my wonderful husband.  He is so good to me and God blessed me beyond belief by giving him to me to spend my life with.  This weekend was so great, sometimes I think he should be the therapist in the family.  As we sat and had meals or coffee together he would ask questions about memories of the past year and goals we had for the future.  It was a great time of recapping and planning. 

I am constantly blown away by his love, devotion, and patience with me as we journey through life.   Lord, thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful marriage.  Thank you for walking beside Mike and I as we figure out how walk this journey together.

Running on Fumes

Well, it has been quite a long day.  I feel like I am running on fumes right now.  As I mentioned in previous post Mike was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis when he was 10.  Today, was the second doctor's appointment I have ever been to with him.  We had to be in San Angelo by 8am, so it was quite an early morning. 

After sitting in the waiting room for quite some time, we finally were called back to see the doctor.  This visit has been much anticipated after the flare-up he had 3 weeks ago.  After much discussion we didn't have many new answers, but we felt like we had a doctor who was dedicated to helping Mike get through daily life better.  Tests were run to see if the JRA is still active or we are just dealing with mechanical damage that has happened as a result of the years of JRA. 

Mike is finally at a place where he wants to try to be proactive in treating whatever is plagueing him.  We both fear this disease affecting our family life later when children our involved and that is difficult to think about.  Please pray that the doctor will be able to help us find a good treatment for our situation.  In addition, as we all know doctors and medication are expensive.  Since we are both in graduate school that can be difficult, so please pray that God will provide a means for Mike to recieve the treatment he needs.

God has been faithful, thus far, and I trust he will continue to provide for us. 

Father, please give us direction and peace to know that you are in control and we are sheltered under your wings.

 

Been awhile....

Well, it has been over a week since I have last posted. Sometimes, I think about posting, but decide I don't have the energy to come up with something creative, so I just continue to read other's blogs instead. Other times, I feel as if I have so much on my plate that needs to get done, I can't take time to post. Some of those things that have been on my plate are done now. I finished my last term paper for the summer this past weekend. What a relief! I kept procrastinating writing it, however; I ended up enjoying the process. It was a great exercise to help me begin to integrate theology with my theory of counseling. As with many disciplines, a postmodern framework has emerged. In therapy, these are called narrative and solution-focused theories. Both are more focused on the future, what solutions the client can find within themselves and developing an outlook on life that is success oriented rather than problem oriented. For many years, therapy has focused on the problems that individuals and families have, thus seeming perpetuating the cycle of dysfunction. The postmodern theories assert that families and individuals have unique outcome in certain situations but they are unable to acknowledge those outcomes because they are focused on the problem. Therapists that work from this perspective help clients to build an alternative story that focuses on their success and their ability to reproduce that success in other situations. It is amazing in just the little time I have worked with clients, how true this is. Many times clients have never had anyone in their lives that encourage and notice their positive qualities. After just a few sessions of pointing out areas in which they are capable, the therapist sees an individual blossom, really take hold of that change and run with it.

As I wrote this paper, I had to write about how theology supports this theory. After thinking about this for several days, it dawned on my that Jesus practiced a similar "therapy" if you will on people. When he would talk to people, he did not focus on their sin, but empowered them to "Go and sin no more." God calls us to live worthy of our calling (Philippians). It seems to me that to live worthy of my calling is to live successfully for Jesus rather than being caught up with what's going wrong in my life. In many ways it is similar to Mike Cope's post the other day about being able to choose the attitude that we are going to have. We have the ability to write our story any way we want, why not choose to write about how we are capable of showing people Jesus?

After writing that paper, God renewed my desire, vision, and the need there is for good Christian therapists in the world. These are people that have been beat up, stomped on, and thrown out with yesterday's garbage. They DESERVE so much more. They deserve to believe in themselves and have another human believe in their abilities. God put them on this earth for a reason, he has a plan for each one of us, and I believe in that plan.

Lord, please guide me as I talk with people about the deepest pains in their lives. Guide me to the words you want them to hear, soften their hearts to hear your story, and help them to write an alternative story to their lives that brings glory and honor to you!

Whirlwind of Emotions

Well, to say the least, this week has been a whirlwind of emotions. While we were at the family reunion, Mike's legs began to swell uncontrollably. By Monday, he was finally convinced he needed to see the doctor on Tuesday morning when we got home. First, it was diagnosed as an infection, and then when the antibiotic didn't work, we ended up in the Emergency Room on Thursday afternoon. After 5 expensive hours of being there, Mike had been tested for numerous conditions including diabetes, lupus, and blood clots, but was finally diagnosed as having had an acute flare up of his rhematoid arthritis (he has had this since he was 10) along with something called cutaneous vasculitis. By Friday, his ankles were looking much better. Today, they are smaller than they have been in months. Unfortunately, the steroids make him feel like a truck ran over him, so he is still not back to his regular self. Not to mention he is preaching tomorrow in Cottonwood, TX so he has been frantically preparing the sermon, class, and songs he has effectively put off till the last minute. So needless to say, this week's emotion have involved worry, stress, and eventually relief. Our small group has been wonderful through the whole process. They have truly been community and family, coming to pray over Mike at lunch on Thursday, bring us or taking us out for meals all week, and praying incessantly for us. However, I guess I just didn't realize how much of a toll this ordeal was taking on me. The stress caught up with me today and I probably was not the a very fun person to live with this morning as I had to get laundry done, the house cleaned, and countless other tasks that I have been neglected since before we left town. Even after a bike ride, I still felt like a bottle of emotions that were not completely released. Sometimes, it amazes me how Satan can take ahold of us and make us miserable with ourselves and short with those around us. I could tell this was happening, this made me more frustrated but I had a difficult time releasing this burden. Thankfully, after much prayer, I truly believe that God released me from this bondage. After some quiet time, I was finally able to release much of the stress and enjoy the rest of our Saturday together.

This afternoon Mike and I went to a 50th wedding anniversary reception for a lady at the counseling center where I am doing an internship. The neatest thing was that Doreen's mother surprised her and came to celebrate this day. Doreen is 68 and her mother is 94 and had told Doreen that she wasn't up to coming. Doreen was sad, but understood. However, today she told me that as they were coming to the party, she told her husband the only thing that would make this day more perfect was if her mother could be there. Lo and behold, her mother surprised her and came. I don't hear of parent's being around to celebrate their children's 50th anniversary often so it was a great blessing for Doreen.

Saturday has turned out to be a pretty good day. We just finished a homemade pizza a family from our small group brought us and it was delicious. (thanks Pybus family!) Hopefully, the night will end without any more surprises and tomorrow will be a glorious day to worship with family.

Blessings!

Sweet Memories

What a restful vacation we had! Our time with family was so blessed! It was filled with many sweet new memories. We spent time catching up on each other’s lives, some played golf, some sat by the pool, and we spent time watching the children take adventures and find treasures. It was so neat to see that kids can still find ways to entertain themselves without a TV or amusement parks. It was a wonderful feeling to have the little girls run into my arms and beg me to play with them. It gave me just a glimpse of what it will feel like to be a mom. On Saturday night we honored my grandparent’s 64 years of marriage. Each person had an ornament with their picture on it and we put them on the “tree” in the order we came into the family either by birth or marriage. At the end we honored those that were not officially in the family but felt like part of it. This included my sister’s boyfriend Patrick. After he put his ornament on the tree, he began to be teased about when he was going to make this official. Well, just a few minutes later he asked for everyone’s attention, thanked them for accepting him and letting him celebrate this occasion with us, and slowly got down on one knee and said, “Carlie, I love you very much, Will you marry me?” Needless to say, she was caught off guard and overwhelmed with emotion as she said YES! It looks like another family event will be in the planning stages soon! Most likely, they will be married in May 2005. We look forward to officially welcoming Patrick into our family. He is an great guy and a perfect match for Carlie.

It is incredible to see how God has blessed our family over the years. We have had our share of rough times and tragedy, but God has always seen us through. Very few families enjoy spending time together, much less three days in the mountains. We are all very different, but we value and respect those differences. I know that I could count of my family for anything I ever needed. I only pray that God will give Mike and I a family that will be rooted in faith and committed to pursuing a life with Him.

On Sunday and Monday we had the privilege of spending sacred time with two friends from Lipscomb who are now married and living in Searcy. Mike and Jeremy were roommates for a year and shared lots of memories together. It was great to share a few meals and lots of conversations about life, marriage, school, and ministry. Thank God that we have friends and are able to feel like we can just pick up where we left off. It was a blessed time.

Family Reunions

It seems that as I get older, family and family events become more sacred and treasured. Today, Mike and I will begin our journey to Fairfield Bay Resort, north of Little Rock, Arkansas to honor my grandparent's 64th wedding anniversary. Tonight we will drive to Dallas and spend the night with Mike's sweet grandparents, Dick and Dot. Grandma Dot will try to force food down our stomachs every 15 minutes and Grandpa Dick will retell the same stories we have heard every visit, but it will be cherished time together. Tomorrow at noon we will fly to Little Rock, rent-a-car, and drive to the resort to meet the Siner family. Approximately 31 people will be with us. Typically, Siner reunions are different than other family reunions. It is essentially a 4 day vacation with my grandparents, their three kids, and their kids, and now their kids (4 generations). Even though everyone is spread out amongst Oklahoma, Texas, Tennessee, and the East Coast, we come together as if we see each other every day. All the great grandchildren will be spoiled (most under 8 years of age), adults will visit, play golf, and lay by the pool as well as spending the evenings reminiscing about past reunions and memories.

Some of the memories that I share are:

Spending the night with Grandma and Popi countless times and Popi scaring us as we went to bed. (we always begged him to do this)

Calling Popi during the summer and asking to go to the mall while he sat and talked to the old men.

Silver dollar pancake breakfasts with grandma.

Sunday lunch of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans.

Playing in the cellar.

Brushing our cousins, Jennifer and Amber's, hair.

Short vacations to Oklahoma City with Grandma and Popi.

And countless more that would fill up volumes. Each family member that I will see is so special and dear to me regardless that I don't see them on a regular basis. My prayer for this weekend is that God will bless us with making more memories, that we will feel comfortable to share our victories and hurts with one another, and will leave with our tanks full until we are brought together again. Family is such a precious blessing that I want to take advantage of and learn as much as I can about. I am excited for Mike to get to learn more about my family and develop his own relationships with them and see why these gatherings are so special to me.

Giving In

For months now I have been reading my husband's blog among many, many others. For several weeks I have been contemplating creating my own. Well, during class this morning I decided today is the day. I hope that this will be a place that I can share glimpses of the journey that I experience as I continue my journey through the Marriage and Family Therapy program, marriage, ministry, and whatever else is along the way.